The Man: JOE

V1:
Put your hand out the window
And turn back Joe.

Put your head out the window
And turn back Joe.

Your dog did his doodie on my lawn today
I just want you to take it away
All my kids want to do is go out and play
…on their lawn today.


V2:
Put your eyes in your head Joe
And take them home.

Put your hands where I can see ‘em
And take them home.

Your wife ran away and took your name plate
Have some shame Joe, these kids are seven and eight
Just go away, get a new date… Joe.


(Space for a face melting guitar solo, much like Jack Black in ‘School Of Rock’)


Coda:
Joe you’re such a disgrace.
You come last in a one man race.
Now get away from me, Joe.


(All characters in this piece are fictitious. Except JOE, he’s the man)

Before you accuse me of being vague

I don’t know if today’s the best day to write. But since I have not rambled on since a long time, here goes.

Frankly I’ve been staying away from writing on my blog. More so, coz I don’t want to accidently write something I really don’t want the world to know. That’s assuming the whole freaking world cares about what’s happening to me.

Nonetheless, I shall try to rant (without actually ranting)

I miss my guitar. Haven’t really been able to touch it over the weekend.:-(

Maybe I’m too busy with work. Or at play. Or at not doing anything while I do so much. Oops! I think I’ve said too much.

I miss the times when words like Orals and Periods would just mean ‘Exams’ and ‘Lectures’. Where have those days gone by? :-(

I don’t like people polluting. Especially those ignorant fools who fold a bag of Potato Chips to the size of a friggin fifty paisa coin and then throw it on the tracks. “It’s so small yaar… what harm can it possible cause?”. I’ll shove it up your arse…then let’s see what harm it can cause.

I don’t like the way people behave. With themselves. With others. (I’d much rather not elaborate, although I know that even I may not know exactly what I am hinting at, ten years from now, when I revisit this page). Hi Austin from the future, this is Austin from the past. Today is 25th august and I am still in office. I hope things are looking much better and brighter as you read this, ten years from now.

I hate death.

I love pizzas. Not the kind you get at Dominoes or at Pizza Hut. But the ones I make on my own. For those who haven’t yet got the opportunity to taste one of those. You don’t know what you’re missing out on. Call me right now, to know more. (I’m expecting your call)

I don’t like when people don’t call me(ahem). Or reply to SMSes, for that matter. Even if I don’t care about the people who call me, I surely return their calls.

NOTE TO SELF: Stop being so vague.

I like being vague. It’s like plants in the summer sun.

I like this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOurz4-OH8I

Dude! Yeh galat hai!

Galti kar li maine
Yaad ho gayi nani
Do glass chai ke saath
Pi li nimbu pani

Galti kar li maine
Kyu ki itni daring?
Socha tha ‘Wah kya rapchick maal hai’
Nikla bobby darling

Galti kar li maine
Kyu li maine doston ki side
Maine socha woh mujhe dhek rahi hai
Par woh nikli cockeyed

Galti kar li maine
Kyu thi charbi khub saari?
Was thinking office nahi jaye, aaj.
Subha ko muster sign kiya. Agli subha ko exit maari.

An experiment

Let me see if this experiment works. I’m going to look around my room. I'm going to name an object.I'm going to tell you something interesting i remember about that object, in one line. Simple isn't it? (I like simple experiments)

1. Cardboard cut-out of ‘Fido Dido – The 7up Cartoon Character’ – I robbed this from Mood Indigo (IIT College Fest) about 3 years ago.

2. Sony Ericsson s500i – Don’t buy it coz the key’s break.

3. Chinese Dragon Wall Hanging – Arundhati gifted me this, about a year ago. (it’s not Chinese…hehehe)

4. Newspaper-Mache lamp – I made it myself after getting weirdly inspired by ROB (watch MAD on POGO, you’ll know what I mean)

5. Half Filled Bottle of Nimbooz – There’s water in it now. (10 seconds later)…ahem …it’s empty now!

6. Roland Amplifier – It lies besides my computer on all weekdays and it comes to life on the weekends, coz that’s the only time I get to manhandle my guitar! (PS: My neighbours aren’t my best friends on weekends…. You get the drift right?)

7. Videocon Washing Machine – It’s just in my room. If I try to throw it out ‘I’ may have to vacate the room with it.

8. 2 pairs of shorts on the steel chair – I’m just too lazy to find a steel hangar, that’s why!

9. The book ‘Shantaram’ inside a ‘Crosswords’ plastic bag – I tried taking it out from the bag, almost fell asleep. Finished half the book. Will finish the rest later (before I hit the grave, for sure!)

10. Webcam – Oh Fuck! I have a webcam??? Damn, even I didn’t know that. WOHOOO!


(PS: Feel free to try the experiment on your blog. And don’t expect me to fucking say shit like ‘I tag you’ or ‘You’re next’ or whatever. If you feel like it, go right ahead. Nahi toh yeh window bandh kar aur apne blog pe kuch interesting likh!)

Let it come. Let it not come back.

I thought that day had come and gone.
Alas, I was wrong.
I'm looking for it to come again.
I've been waiting for it since long.

Sometimes I pray.
Sometimes I wonder.
Sometimes I stare at the ceiling, just like that.

I know not what awaits me.
Maybe it's meant to be that way.
And i know, for sure, it's a fact.

But about one thing i'm certain,
after that moment comes again,
I'd never want it to once again come back.

:-)

Watchtower (with some cool sunlight effects)

Yahoo Uncannies Award Entry

OK!

Not the smartest title ever. But i'm trying to keep it as simple as possible.

- Go to www.uncannies.com and click on 'PRINT'

OR

- Click here

AND THEN VOTE FOR ME


...and if you're really generous, you can also check the radio section.
Which is (ahem) here



And if you've not got a YAHOO ID...don't bother. It's not worth the effort!!!

The Time Machine.

Why can’t it be built?
Why can’t I go back in time?
Why can’t I undo the wrong?
Why can’t I undo the right turned wrong?

And if I do manage?

Will I not have written what I am writing?
Would something change?
Would an unearthly hour not demand and unearthly post?
Would the ship be anchored halfway past the coast?

50 stock expressions of a creative person

(and before we begin....
let me quote the source

http://orchardfresh.blogspot.com/search?q=50+stock+expressions+of+a+creative+person


enjoy the list.....
the ones i really like are
13, 14, 24, 39, 45,
....and of course number 6)


1. Where's the brief?
2. You call this a brief?
3. I like the font you've used in the brief.
4. Where's the insight?
5. When do you need it?
6. F*ck off.
7. Go take a jump.
8. This is unacceptable.
9. I think I've cracked it…
10. I have a fantastic idea…
11. The scene opens in a beach in Australia…
12. Is it hot?
13. Will it win?
14. It's been done before.
15. I did this some ten years ago.
16. There's a thought there…
17. I have a better idea…
18. It's a good idea but will it work?
19. I think it will get a nomination.
20. Fabulous idea. We should park it for some other client…
21. We have the idea. We just need a logo.
22. Can we get this released before December 31stt?
23. Is the font size too big?
24. Let's not put our key number on this ad.
25. Let's upload it to the Archive.
26. I think I've earned my salary for the year.
27. I'll buy you a beer if you can sell this ad.
28. I am not coming for the meeting…
29. We've looked at it from all angles…
30. We are quite excited with the work…
31. I am sure you'll love it…
32. Of course, your customers will get it!
33. Trust me, the campaign will work.
34. Bastards they killed it.
35. The joker didn't get the ad.
36. He can't tell his arse from his elbow.
37. I am not gonna work on it
38. You have two options. Take it or leave it.
39. Come let's go for a smoke.
40. What are you doing for lunch?
41. Let's sleep over it.
42. We've started brainstorming.
43. We are working on it.
44. We are not happy with the idea.
45. Call up the client and postpone the meeting.
46. I think I deserve a break.
47. Let's hire some good looking chicks.
48. Did you see that commercial? It was terrible.
49. How many metals did O&M get?
50. I am quitting.


(i would like to add a few...

51. Let's have a Con-Call with the client
52. Dude... bahut laga pada hai
53. Let's do this tomorrow
54. I tried to explain it to them, but those fuckers don't understand yaar!
55. Do you ever bother to ask them why?
56. Sorry boss, ask my senior.
57. Bhug bosadike
58. Of course i function like a Jukebox when it comes to lines. Coin toh daal!
59. It will look good after the art guy is done with it. Fikar not.
60. Shit! We have to give it at three? Push kar na!

The DVD Song

Kya chahiye?

I need a new way to think
I need the missing link
I need something worth looking forward to
I need to repair my torn shoe


I need to compose like I’ve never done before
I need to look through someone else’s eyes and not my own
I need someone who’s just like you
And more importantly I need to stay away from you

I need to learn not to stick to anything like glue
I need to appreciate the things I am due
I need to make up for lost time
I need to regain what’s mine

I need to let go off of the things that bother me
I need to pretend I’m not caged but free
I need to get some sleep
I need to dream instead of counting sheep

Christmas Tree @ Bates 141 (my office)

...and you thought recession hadn't hit us as yet.

Chanced upon....

...this quote in the film ‘Evan Almighty’. For those of you who have seen ‘Bruce Almighty’ you’ll recognise the geeky reporter as Evan.

There’s a scene where Evan’s wife leaves him and that’s when god appears to her and says…

God: Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

(Ok! Strong poetic words that emote feelings isn’t my forte…..guess even an imbecile would have come to that conclusion if he’d have read any of my other posts. So don’t kill me for this one J )

On a crazier note I think people should be happy to be alive after all the shit that’s happened to Mumbai in the recent times.

Whatever be the state of the city, we still go to work each morning with that ‘I don’t give a rat’s ass’ attitude.

Would we ever change? ...(can’t say anything about myself…coz I don’t know anything about myself anyway)

The one thing - Originally by Paul Colman

Just love the way it's been looped

I don't give a ...

Q: Will we play on stage? A: Definitely Maybe

Twisted

Here yee Hear yee

Time for a rant or something else as good as free

Let’s try to post a rhyme this time

Let’s try to see if I can go on

Pretending that I actually care for what I write

Pretending that this is like (ahem) a beautiful song

I know that this post is really off, what you’ll normally see here

I know you’re wondering why

I know this is going nowhere

Heck…so are you and I

Was thinking of listening to a song as I write

But decided that it’s best not to fight

The silence that once was here

Was thinking of writing something that makes sense

No I’m not crazy and no I’m not queer

And if you’ve been paying attention

I’ve broken the meter

Time and again, as I go steadily on

It’s time to let the odd words loose

It’s time to end this twisted song

I need some answers

Just give them to me. You already know
what the question is. Right?

Why so serious?

The birds the bees,
the flowers and trees.
All jump about in joy

This day I feel so wonderful.
Hey! It’s a present, a brand new toy.

I sleep with no worries.
There’s a rainbow over my head.
What more can I possible expect?

I’m happy to say,
believe me if you may.

I have absolutely no regrets.

When two electric guitars meet...and break a G-string