a post from "mere boss ki cumputer"

yo peoples
i just wanted you to know that i still don’t know where i am supposed to be sitting
so for the time being i am using the comp that my boss uses

This should be fun

*looks around and enjoys his success with evil laughter*
*looks around again and notices someone looking suspiciously*

So I got a job ……that doesn’t mean I did some work

I just got placed in an ad agency called bates
And today was my first day.
I thought that I would be immersed in ….well ..at least something to do
But I was bored to death man. The only thing I did …..That remotely kept me busy was read the advertising books.
Not just for people who don’t get it, these award book are not something that they made me do or that you need to know anything about, but its just the fascination for advertising and ads that got me to spend my day drooling over the books .

My immediate boss came in at ( …err….i don’t even remember that ….man I think I was engrossed in those books ).
Any ways ….as I was saying ….he came in and looked at me. I gave him that “I am so pakaooed” look
To which he said “ I want you to get bored for the first 2 days “

So basically that means I’ll be having nothing at all to do all of tomorrow

Day one was cool though
I got the feeling that everyone was busy …but did get the time to make that odd joke …and play a game on their comp…..and of course check their mail

NOTE:
somehow you can make out who are the people in Client Servicing.
I don’t know why …but they have this whole “oh I am so fucked up “look

And the Creatives have this “I am the one responsible for that ” ( pointing towards the Client Servicing person )

You lucky bastards

If you are reading this, consider yourself lucky, because I can’t!
My computer refuses to open any (dot)blogspot blogs.
And there are just a few which I do visit regularly …one of which is family.

A couple of days ago I realized that I wanted to write a lot (well I don’t really remember about what ….so lets leave it at that ). But my blog didn’t seem to open…and I tried frantically.
I tried googl’ing the solution…but couldn’t get one.
I sent a mail to Arnold ….and he gave me a (dot)blogspot I return ( little did he realize that it wasn’t going to open )

But I did figure out that I could put in a new post…..even if I can’t view MY OWN BLOG

So here I am writing shit that I cannot access

I am new to blogging

So if this looks like a place where I mumble randomly – you guessed it right!
So is there anybody else there who is going thru the same misery?

( I just realized that if you too are having the same problem …..Well….there’s no way you are reading this ….but if you are, then you can let me know at austin_d_2000@yahoo.com )


now shoo....all u lucky bastards

Just so many things

There are about a zillion thoughts in my pea sized brain.
And I need to vent it out somewhere, so here goes.

The blasts and us
The only thing I can ask is why?
What sense does it make? If someone reading this is a part of any militant group, be my guest and reply. This whole episode seems like a videogame
The only difference
No saved levels
No extra lives
No sanity

Just real people
Real blood
Reality…

The blast and ‘them’
We can’t do anything so lets blame the government.
As I was watching last nights coverage, it struck me that when something like this takes place, how the fuck can you expect the police, the ambulance and the firefighters to be all there at all these places at the same time.
Lets face it people
The government isn’t god. They are not going to pop in the second you scream out for an ambulance.
What I am saying may sound like a pile of poop to some.
But I don’t care.

The blast coverage
Given the chance I would personally go to the star news people and ask insane questions to them.
And repeat these questions a hundred times.
Get a life man!!
Instead of asking banal questions get a list from all the hospitals of the injured and deceased and put them up on the news. Make some sense of your broadcasts.


The blast – hutch – the retailers
Since I have been over using the cell since yesterday, sending messages to family and friends, I decided to get it refilled this morning. I happen to go to this retail shop just outside my building.
The guy at the counter blatantly refuses to give me a recharge card. It came as a surprise but I managed to ask him why I was being refused a recharge and where could I get one, if not in his shop. It so happens that the retailers are on a strike due to some commission issues with hutch (and maybe others I am not aware of ….airtel etc ).
Now I don’t know exactly when this “strike” started, but isn’t that stupid.
Just when the cell phone, and more importantly the sms system,is working just right.

Strike my ass.

The hutch people
I ended up at the hutch shop and stood at a counter for about fifteen minutes.
The lady sitting opposite me in there behind the glass was hot and not to mention buxom.
That’s where the confusion started.
But I didn’t know where to look. If I would look up over her head, she would have said something thru that glass and I wouldn’t have heard her, giving the guy behind me an opportunity to swoop in.
If I look at her eyes she would think I am ogling at her.
And there was no way in hell I could look at her hands, cause they were right in front of her ….ahem…..assets.
So I kept changing my glance. Surely she must have thought that I had an acute drug problem.

The feeling at hutch
Its NOISY man!
It’s not possible not to loose ones cool. Forget working there. I didn’t even want to stand there as a customer.
In comes Jhonny “ do you want to change your plan” bravo.
So I politely shoo him off
( don’t want to relive the whole experience …..so I shall not write about this)

Random observation
If you take an alternative route – you may not reach any faster
( I tried the same today )

If you want to cross the road – don’t look in the direction from where there isn’t any traffic approaching – you may get hit by the oncoming traffic …..DUFFER
( some stupid guy on the main road…luckily Jhonny is alive )

No matter how many times I look out my window, I always see either the watchman or the old ladies from my building
( I think I should shift house )

I like writing these observations
( proves to me that I have lost it )

No matter how many mails one sends to the XIC group ( yahoo group of my class )
There’s always someone who says “ Oh I didn’t get that mail “
( just amazing )


Mumbai spirit
( dudes …Mumbai is dying …its not going to be long before its going to be just Mumbai …NO SPIRIT )

I shall write today

My computer and my landline have a funny alliance.
The landline is dead since the last rains, but the net (as I discovered) works.
And people don’t seem to believe me.

“How can your landline be dead and the net work?……are you on grass or something?”
Rhetorical as these trivial questions seem I have to assure “The People’s” that nothings wrong.

Boredom has got the better of me, and of course my friend RAKSHIT.
So we ended up meeting at his place and got a song done, with the help of shaban on vocals

Presenting
Nishaniyaan
Sung by: Shaban
Lyrics by : rakshit
Composed by :Austin-rakshit-shaban
( well actually the deal is that I composed the chord structure and sent a scratch to rakshit. He in turn got the lyrics done, and sent me back a scratch.
So we both made our own versions of the song. On showing both of them to shaban, he mixed both of them very nicely …..to come out with this )

You can download it from the link below
http://www.4shared.com/file/2415112/db8f8fc0/nishaniyaan_.html


I’ve also done an English version of the song, but it’s in my voice.
And I find it sounding too funny….maybe that’s why I didn’t post the link here.
So till I get it done from a friend, you’ll have to bear hearing nishaniyaan.

Came online and saw no one...Looked around and saw no one.

(This is me writing whatever comes to my head ….and not revisiting to edit anything)

Feeling a bit low today
I was supposed to get a song sung by a friend. But it was just too rainy for any of the parties concerned to make their way out of their cozy homes. Guess if it’s a bit better tomorrow we may get it done. I really want this one to be done.

Felling a bit sick today
Maybe it’s due to the lack of sleep. Went to piyush’s place yesterday and watched the match.
Well we were having animated conversations that lifted the dull moments of the match.

Yeah I know!!!. Lets put some pictures here in this post.
So here are some picturess of yesterday
(well technically today ….coz we took them in the morning.

this is me and piyush ( ponds for short ).....i took it cause i got accused for clicking only pics of myself....heheh.



dont ask ....i dont know what the "F tripple stars" am i doing



a picture well taken by Ponds




ponds trying to feel our butts





and of course....smack the bar girl
( devang was looking like one of them ...contorting his body ---we still dont know why !!! )



i guess i done need to say anything but ......sorry saket boy ...lol

You've come here by mistake!!!

In my earlier post, I said something about a maximum of three people visiting my blog.
And since a few of those three seem to differ from that opinion, I have put up a site meter

( I know I am going to say …AHAAA…pretty soon )

too lazy ( even to title case this title)

I bet that’s why I hardly write any posts here. Maybe a bigger reason is that I know nobody comes here in any case. Except for an odd number of 3 people ( who I personally think land up here due to typos ).
Somehow I really don’t care. Who cares? Fuck knows.
Listening to its my life by Bon Jovi……maybe that’s the reason that I say such things.

I keep telling myself that I will finish this book by Ayn Rand “The Fountainhead”. But somehow I don’t seem to get past five pages at a stretch.
Sometimes I fall asleep.
Sometimes I end up reading the paper.
Sometimes I end up feeling hungry
Sometimes I just want to go to sleep.

So I have come half way thru the book ( I think its half way )

Excited about this contest I entered a month ago….check the link below

http://www.thebrandreporter.com/mugshot_contest/index.html

trying to advertise it on Arnolds blog…..talks are still on.

Ok …feeling tooo hungry to write any more …..so I shall say bye to those 3 people who read my blog. ( bye …in Swedish and in French )

Okay (hitting myself)

This post comes a day after the earlier post below where I thought that I had solved all my popup problems.
But they popups ( images and all ) did return.

So I have gone and tweaked IE to act like a browser that allows nothing to pass through it

LETS SEE WHAT HAPPENS

( PS: been using the comp since morning …and no pop ups …YET )

Okay

For the past couple of days my comps acting funny.
Actually only internet explorer (hence forth referred to as IE) is
There these 2 irritating pop ups…that not only crop up when the nets on …but also when its off.
And its very pissing off when u get interrupted by a film u are watching. with 2 huge windows blocking the screen. But that’s the least of my problems. Cause if the pop ups were those regular “casino” ones..then its all fine…but these were some porno ones.
I also am not able to view multiple windows at a time ( for which reason I switched to firefox)
And if I am not allowed to open more than one window at a time …….screw the whole concept of WINDOWS

So I rolled up my sleeves …..and tried to google my way out of the problem .
But all its fixes don’t work. ( those Microsoft buggers actually told me that my windows version was pirated ……………..heheheh )

So I thought to myself…..something can be done to get a new IE ….if Microsoft wont help surely there must be some wiz out there that has got a cracked version of every Microsoft product there could be

So I sought the help of lime wire and got the latest version of IE ……….that’s IE7
And I can now safely assume that after installing the new version all info ( and pop ups ) would be deleted.

(Ok now while I was writing this portion the original problem of popup’s re occurred …damn )

So now that I still have this problem ..I was to abandon a post on the same.

But dude …I am not going to give up that easily
I tried in vain to get an online cure ….cause my multiple window problem was solved …but not the porny problem.

So I figured lets juts explore IE. Cause there’s definitely some way I can block a site ( if not the pop up )

So I just copy pasted the site to which the pop up was linked in the “block site” list…..and now I am good to go

The popup’s are still alive ….but at least the page doesn’t display anything …phew!!!

How smart /dumb can you be?

PART 1
So I am traveling by train back to borivali - wind in my face and a portfolio in my bag that has seen all the ad agencies in b’bay. And in come a whole bunch of strangers ( who were well ….looking pretty strange to me …if not anyone else).
These aunties came right next to me and rested their fat asses. Now if the train was packed like a can of sardines, I wouldn’t mind the my-ass-your-thigh treatment from them. But woman cant u see the whole freaking train is empty ……do u HAVE to sit ( all eight of you’ll)…in one row .

Now as it turns out, I am sitting at the only sweet spot in a train ( window with wind-in-face ...remember)

So I gladly abandon the uncomfortable position that I held , and moved to the opposite side- without the wind of course.

I believe it was a clever ploy to get me out of the sweet spot – and it worked!!!

PART 2
Ok now I exit the train. And to my surprise, I am on the other end of borivali station.
They have apparently made a new platform number seven (more like platform number 0.5…cause it comes before the first platform ). This new platform is so far away from the others that if you get into the train at the rear end ….you could touch kandivali…..and I am not kidding!!!!

Now there are underground paths made in order to facilitate the public to traverse from one platform to the others at this end (the overhead bridges have always been there to perform this task ). But I would be damned if someone actually uses these undergrounds.

On that day I saw a couple of ladies ( all sari clad and all )…..crossing the tracks

The authorities have erected barricades so that passengers do not cross the tracks.
So in order to cross from platform no.2 to platform no.7 one has to not only walk a distance to cross the barricade but also jump the device meant to stop trains on end stations (such as borivali and churchgate )
What I don’t get is that why would anyone go through all the trouble of walking a distance..and jumping devices ….when it makes more sense to just move your ass through the underground.

s-p-o-n-g-e

Made my way to Leo Burnett today to meet a chap called “russel”
Well he did make it clear to me that he isn’t looking to hire anybody.
So I had gone with the preconceived notion that I wasn’t going to be employed there…but could get some needed feedback on my portfolio.

The guy was frank ….. apart from the many things he had to give in the name of advice, I bought back home one crucial thing that he said

“Be a sponge…..absorb whatever happens around you”

Now don’t get me wrong ….its not like I wasn’t doing that already.
Just that I think I shall be doing it now with even more gusto.

Lets see what’s on TV

Ok so I am not an avid TV viewer. More out of compulsion than out of choice. Because most of the time my dad just keeps hogging the tv since he’s at home most of the time. And I am more than content to catch an occasional flick and some advertisements here and there.

But as I write this I have just abandoned a comedy program called “ jonny alla re “( well at least they believe it is comedy ).
Now I am not anti- jonny lever ……hell I like the guy …and he is a good stand up comic. But I juts cant get myself to find anything funny in the way this program is structured.
I sit in front of the TV …….and nothing.
He opens his mouth………and nothing.
I keep waiting to laugh ….but nothing.

So are u trying to tell me that a guy I thought was funny all my life suddenly goes bland ?
( as I type this I hear sonu nigams on the show ……lets go in the hall and see if its any better )


( OK I AM BACK ………………WASN’T WORTH IT )

Don’t judge a book by its cover.....or its picture

Its been very rare that I have got my hands on a new PC game and installed it myself. I do remember the time that I use to go to my cousin Ralph’s place and try out all those old chip cd’s he had stacked under his keyboard drawer .

( I still remember of all the times I would sneak into the stack and pry out some games and load them on the comp and then not know how to get then off. Only to be caught later in the evening )

In any case my point is that when you load these games, to cut the boredom of seeing a blank screen the developers put in a few stills of the game while you wait for it to load onto the comp.
Now these still would make you think – “man what an awesome game…amazing graphics”
But the truth of it all would be revealed once you actually go ahead and get started on the game .
It would then dawn upon you that what you saw was just a gimmick to make you think that the game was much cooler than it actually is. Before the start of the game too there would be a promo of other games under the same developer ( well most of the games I talk about are from the Electronic Arts stable)

But the other day I got my paws on this game called “total overdose”. Now I aint going to be reviewing the game ( if you think I was going there)
Now while I was loading it the pictures displayed didn’t look all that great. And in my head I could hear a voice say “ dude this game sucks ….if the pics look so ‘normal’ I just cant begin to imagine how lousy the game is going to be “

So I start up the game..And I am greeted with the promo of the game. Now this too has the quality of almost the same as the pictures. So my mind goes back into the whole mode of how the game is going to be.

So I try to put all that behind me hoping for the worst game I have played.

But to my surprise the game looked and felt much like the promos ( which I now realise were really true to what the game actually is )

And the game itself was good to say the least ( am I actually going to end up reviewing the game …..errr……….well…….nope!!!! )

On a totally different topic my friend sent me this link …the best time pass advertising link I have ever seen …………

http://www.axefeather.com/index_pop.aspx?referred=&country=uk

….a must visit according to me.

“How do you switch off your cell?”

Is the question I was hit with this morning when I was in the loo.

This is what my dad said” I was just LOOKING at your cell and …well…how do u switch it off”

Now I assumed that he just accidentally touched it …so I didn’t bother till I came out and looked at him ….and he began to complete the sentence he had started ealier “ how do u switch it off ….i think somebody called …cause I could hear a hello”

Now I was sure that me cell didn’t ring …so was a bit confused.

I checked the balance …and viola …..i am about 8 rupees poorer ……( I wonder why)

I then realised that dad was not only fiddling with the cell but actually called up a friend of mine ( who be my sheer luck I think was on roaming and most probably in Jaipur)

And here I thought that my cell was safe ( not to mention the balance in it )

So this calls for a drastic step …..well some advice I can render for all those who face a similar problem

1 Let the first name in your address book be a local one for crying out loud

2 if possible let it be one that is just a casual friend ( and not a creative director of a ad agency ….well I do have a couple of those in my book)

3 as a safeguard against this incident reoccurring keep this first 2 to 3 names without any number ( I have kept AAA and AAB as the first two ). So incase someone does “accidentally” freak out on your cell …at least you wouldn’t be calling jaipur and paying for it .


I guess I should educate dad about the cell (I would never know who he’ll call next!!!)

Humm that’s odd!!!

The other day I was coming home at around 7.00 (an odd time to come home actually cause most of the time I don’t reach before 10.30) and I am walking towards the end of the first platform at Borivali station.

Now you must have heard the standard announcements on the platform which say something like “ platform number chaar par aane wali sayaadri express ek ghanta deri se aani ki sambhavana rakhti hai” ( or something like that …pardon the mac hindi )

In any case the above announcement means that the train would PROBABLY be late.

But funnily I heard this announcement
“ platform number chaar par aane wali sayaadri express aaj apne NIRDHARATH SAMAY PAR aane ki sambhavana rakthi hai” ….which means that today the train might actually come on time.

So I believe that many passengers must have died of the shock that the train is on time.

I also pity those unfortunate ones who must have assumed the IST (Indian stretchable time) and come in late ……only to find that the railway authorities prediction of the train possibly coming in on time, was right ……………..just too funny man

Go ahead and officially call me stupid

Well not right now …..But if and when I do say something or do something to that effect.
The other day my cousins Arnold and Kenneth were at mocha.
These guys do smoke so ordered a hookah.
I quite didn’t know what I was going to do there …cause I don’t smoke. Never tried one either.
So I sit with them ….and wonder ….heck …..what difference is one puff going to do to me. So when I was offered a puff ….i readily accepted it.

Took like the tiniest puff anyone could take on a hookah.

Humm …not bad

( until this point I was under the impression that the hookah had no tobacco ….i then came to know that I was wrong……but I guess the umpteen puffs after that let me forget all about the tobacco)

Which brings me to what I wanted to know …..how addictive are cigarettes?

Snfdhhgfad

Well I know that title doesn’t make sense……….who cares!!!
I am bored
Well I did nothing today (well not even mediocre miscellaneous house chores…..thank god for that)
And I just thought I could put in a post …but I do realise that I am just rambling on ( listening to U2’s beautiful day …Ironical to say the least)
Today I got this feeling that I so am at the mercy of other people….
……waiting for them to get free
……waiting for them to give me a call
……waiting for someone somewhere to quit ( so that I can take their place)
……waiting.

Oh my eyes!!! My eyes!!!

Ok so now that I have got your eyes ….lets begin the story of how I lost mine yesterday!
So a couple of us were at marine drive ( doing ……well nothing as usual)
And our man VIRAJ looks towards Hotel Intercontinental ( which was exactly opposite to us ) and goes “OH MY GOD…..LOOK!!!” …..so all of us (that’s bhavini ,payal, piyush and myself) turn to look at the first floor of the hotel only to be greeted with the sight of a 45-50 year old foreigner STARK naked . ( ok stop imagining it u bafoons ….this is seriously as gross as it could get …..but hell no there’s more).
So as we tried to keep our gaze away from the guy who obviously didn’t care less as he was in his room taking on the phone NAKED with the drapes not drawn …..our man VIRAJ says “ hey he’s playing with his thingy”. ….and man was he right .

So if I have grossed u guys out enough ( and don’t worry the gross stuff ends there) lets move on.

Now sitting just parallel to us was a group of guys. While we tried ignoring the man this group peeled their eyes waiting in anticipation of when the guy made a reappearance at the window (well he was on the phone so kept giving us generous doses of full frontal and posterior flashes whilst prancing around his hall and bedroom) .

Now since all those passing on marine drive could witness this sight ( ooooh man my eyes)….its wasn’t late till one “ concerned citizen “ came out to the cops who were only glad to get the manager out of the hotel to witness his customers family jewels out in the open.
I don’t really know what happened then …..but just as the manager came out to take a peek …the man in question crew the drapes ……………..AND THE SHOW WAS OVER ( oh I can see again ).
But the show wasn’t over …..the cops went in. I assumed they would return with the man ( well I believe they would have clothed him at least now). But to my surprise …..about 30 mins later …the cops emerged empty handed ( well at least that guy wasn’t there ….but maybe their pockets must have been filled ).

And so ends the saga of public nudity …….well to start off with one of us had the bright spark of telling the manager ourselves of this offending scene ( but I guess we had to get off our asses and cross the road to do the same …as if we were going to do that !!!…..shame shame …puppy shame)

Been a while ....got excuses for the same

I guess today’s post would explain the lack of posts in a long time …………….hee…just got free to sit pondering over nothing I guess ….that’s the way it is .

Had been a bit busy in the past week shooting a 30 second commercial. I guess I need not go into details considering Rakshits got it all covered here .

Call it being unable to get my ass moving on penning down my thoughts on the shoot …………then so be it !!!